The Beauty of Modesty

People magazine can put a half-naked woman on the cover of their magazines and claim she wins the most beautiful woman of the year award.  NO, that’s not true beauty. Modesty reveals a woman’s inner beauty for the world to see, while preserving her body for her husband in the holy sacrament of marriage. Our culture has lost this sense of sacredness for the human body and the marital embrace. Yes, you heard right! God Himself designed sex for a husband and wife to bring forth new life into this world, a sacred act reserved for marriage.

There is an exceeding amount of over sexualized behavior and immodesty in our culture. What this world needs is for women to stand up and embrace the beauty of the feminine genius, challenge men to be men of virtue and call society to a higher standard. A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies…charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” – Proverbs 31.

A woman is a mystery, and this is the way God designed her. And when a woman conducts herself in accordance with the way in which God created her, she reflects this beauty and appeal in a unique way.
At the core of every woman is the natural desire for respect. No woman desires to be mistreated, but in reality, when a woman dresses immodestly she is inviting disrespect upon herself. When she dresses in a revealing way, she is inviting others to notice her body, and possibly lust after what they see. But, when a woman dresses modestly she is protecting herself from being used, while concealing the beautiful mystery of her body. 

Women, who are the crowning of God’s creation play a unique role in reversing this tragedy. How? By embracing the strengths, essence and authentic value of womanhood. In his letter to women, Pope John Paul II refers to these unique characteristics of women as the feminine genius. What an exceedingly beautiful task we have been given!

Taken from Made in His Image Blog

The Beauty of Femininity

I remember watching the ladies' free skate program in a world skating championship a number of years ago. My ears perked up when I heard the commentator, Dick Button, talk about one of the performances. He said, “She’s a very ladylike skater. She makes me feel very relaxed when I watch her.” He was describing the beauty of femininity.
There’s something engaging about femininity when it’s truly lived out. When women are true women and men are true men, it can touch people in powerful ways. It reflects the order God intended when he created man in His own image—“male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27).
You don’t have to be a championship figure skater to display femininity. Could someone say of you, “She’s a very ladylike student” or “a ladylike daughter” or “a ladylike worker”? Whatever position or season of life you’re in, you can glorify God by being a true woman.

Taken from Seeking Him by Nancy Leigh DeMoss

It's Not Your Body

Chastity is important because it involves how we comport our bodies — and through faith, our bodies are no longer our own. In faith, you have become part of Christ's body, and it is Christ through the Church, who must give you permission to join His body to another body.

In the Christian worldview, we have no right to sex. The place where the Church confers that privilege on you is the wedding; weddings are specific acts that grant us permission to have sex with one person.

In other words, chastity is a fact of gospel life. The New Testament makes clear that sex beyond the boundaries of marriage — the boundaries of communally granted sanction of sex — is simply off limits. To have sex outside those bounds is to commit an offense against the body. Abstinence before marriage, and fidelity within marriage — refraining from sex with someone other than your husband or wife — is just one of those basic rules that keeps you inside the Christian community. Any other kind of sex is embodied apostasy.

Practicing premarital chastity is also important because it safeguards and protects marital sex — that is, it protects us, so that if and when we do get married, we are able to experience sex as God intended it to be.

Taken from Laura Winner's article "Purity"

Who Do You Belong To?

 
It is no accident that much of our inner battle as women centers on our bodies. We obsess with appearance, weight, and form. The battle over our bodies is really a battle for our souls. We have to choose who we belong to and what we were designed for. If we believe the body is meant for us, then we leave no place for God to inhibit. If we believe our bodies were designed by God as His dwelling place, then we leave no place for worldly judgements about size or "imperfections." 
   God call us to recognize the sacred in a world of pollution. Sacred means set apart, not for common use. Something sacred is uncommon and cannot be judged alongside the profane. Sacred also implies it is initiated by God and intended for God. The world's standards are not relevant. 

Taken from Beauty Secrets of the Bible by Ginger Garrett

Who is Defining Beauty for You?

  God's definition of beauty is vibrant, alive, brilliant and radiant. It draws people in. Nothing vibrant is stationary. God's beauty compels us to action, to give to others. Worldly beauty compels us to consume: Get attention! Get admiration! Get approval!
   Vibrant beauty is the abundant life we're promised, and it prompts us to seek what we can give: give attention, give affirmation, give admiration to others. That's the beauty that leaves its mark on people and the world. The thief wants to steal, and God wants to give. When you contemplate beauty, notice what your definition of beauty is compelling you to do, and you will know who is defining beauty for you at that moment.

Taken from Beauty Secrets of the Bible by Ginger Garrett

Guarding Your Heart

I was asked not too long ago what guard your heart really means. The answer isn’t cut and dry, especially because each of us has different experiences, different relationships, different baggage, etc. However, when asked this question, I attempted to answer with an analogy that I’d like to share with you now. I told the young woman who asked me the question the following:

Imagine that your heart is inside a giant mansion. Imagine that at the outskirts of the mansion there’s a guard tower with an armed guard inside. Surrounding the mansion is a 15′-high electrified fence. Inside the fence are several Dobermans who haven’t eaten lately. On this side of the dogs is a large, triple-thick, rock wall with a gate that has a special code used to get in. Inside the rock wall is a large bullet-proof metal door with 7 deadbolts.

Now imagine that you’re early in a relationship with a man. Guarding your heart is prudently allowing the guard to take an extended leave of absence. The fence is still electrified, the dogs are still there, the gate is still down and the door is still locked – 7 times no less. The man gets a little closer to your heart, but still doesn’t have unlimited access. Little by little you reduce the security and over time, through prudent thinking and decision making, you begin to allow the man closer to your heart and allow him to have more access to you. He gazes into your heart from a distance… sort of like looking through the windows of the mansion… and from his gaze, he begins to learn about your heart. Seeing into the heart is different than having unabated access to the heart. The only time a man should have this unabated access to a woman’s heart is when she is his spouse.

For many people, it may seem too hard to guard their heart. For many people, it may seem too late to guard their heart. If pain from relationships-gone-bad, lack of trust after a break up (or after every break up) and utter disappointment in relationships in general is fun for you, then keep up the common mistakes, and lack of protection for your heart. If, however, you come to understand that your heart is worth guarding because you are a precious daughter of God and because you deserve only the best in life, then take the necessary steps to start guarding your heart now. If a man in your life is too close to your heart (or maybe inside the mansion), do what’s best for you and ask him to take a few steps back. It will be hard at first, and may even seem pointless, but in the long run, it will be a blessing. Trust me.

The analogy is based on the context of a romantic relationship; keep in mind that we should each be guarding our hearts from evil, sin, and unclean-outside influences as well. This analogy doesn’t explain the entire story about guarding your heart… but points to the reality of the importance and value of the heart of a woman.

Taken from Made in His Image blog post by Dave DiNuzzo Sr. 

How to Live with True Purity

It’s crucial to pursue purity in order to grow closer to God, because purity leads to holiness. So Christians often talk about purity – but usually, only in the sense of avoiding sexual immorality. Believers try hard to achieve purity in that limited area, and despite their best efforts, many still end up failing.
There’s a better way to pursue purity. From God’s perspective, purity involves much more than what you do in one area of your life; it has to do with what you choose in every part of your life. Achieving true purity is possible, but not through your own efforts. Instead, you need to rely on Jesus every day to empower you to live in purity. Then your quest for purity won’t be frustrated by your failures; it’ll be a sign of Jesus’ successful work within you.
Here’s how you can develop true purity in your life:

Recognize what true purity is, and why it’s important. Purity means choosing to love God more than you love anything or anyone else, and expressing that love by wholeheartedly devoting your life to God. It’s important to pursue purity because the more pure you become, the more you’ll grow into the person God intends you to become.

Pursue purity in love. Relationships with other people – from romantic partnerships to family ties – can bring lots of pleasure into your life. But it’s important to ask yourself about each potential relationship: “What is the purpose of this relationship – my pleasure, theirs, or God’s?”  Keep in mind that you’ll ultimately harm yourself if you look for pleasure in relationships that don’t please God, who is worthy of your honor and who wants the best for you. Decide every day to give all of your devotion (not just part of it) to God, placing your relationship with Him at the center of your life and revolving all of your other relationships around it. Doing so will help you avoid double-minded relationships (focused partly on serving God but partly on serving yourself or another person), which are impure and unstable. Recognize that God’s goal for your relationships is much more than that they make you happy; God wants your relationships to help you become more holy. With that in mind, regularly evaluate your relationships to honestly consider whether or not they’re drawing you closer to God or farther away from Him. Ask God to give you the courage and wisdom to set boundaries in your relationships to protect yourself from people who are tempting you to sin. Never pursue a romance with an unbeliever, no matter how attracted you may be to him or her. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you relate to your family members with love, Galatians 5:22-23.

Pursue purity in community. Carefully choose how you relate to friends, showing love to everyone, yet not allowing people who are less spiritually mature than you are to influence you. Accept advice only from friends whose relationships with Jesus you trust and respect. Limit how close you get to spiritually weaker people so they won’t corrupt your own walk with God; feel free to spend time with them and encourage them, but not to become best friends. Reserve your closest friendships for people who are spiritually strong – those you can confidently go to for advice, comfort, encouragement, and hope. Don’t hesitate to end any unhealthy friendships in your life, such as those in which a friend tries to control you or treats you unkindly. Ask God to help you become the best friend you can be to others. Learn good listening skills and aim to listen more than you talk. Learn whatever you can from arguments that may help you grow spiritually. When dealing with your enemies, ask the Holy Spirit to guide you so you can respond in the power of God’s love rather than react to what they’ve done to you. Choose to forgive them, pray for them, and maintain healthy boundaries to protect yourself from those who haven’t shown any remorse or changed behavior toward you. Relate to strangers with kindness and grace, keeping in mind that every person is someone whom God loves and has made in His image.

Taken from Hayley and Michael DiMarco's new book, True Purity: More than Just Saying "No" to You-Know-What

Flirting 101

Flirting means different things for different age groups. When I was in second grade, if I liked a girl, I would throw a rock at her. (Fortunately for women, I have made some progress in this area.) When we matured to the fourth grade, things got more sophisticated: a girl would ask her friend to pass a note to a boy, inviting him to check the appropriate box if he was interested in her. By sixth grade the tactics were more refunded, and a girl might have her friend "accidentally" shove her into a cute boy as they walked out of class. This is all amusing, but by junior high the girls leave the notes behind as they start to realize what interests guys. This is when flirting can become a problem. 
     The basic definition of flirt is to tease or toy with another; to pay romantic attention to someone without serious intentions. To the degree that one is being impure or dishonest, flirting is wrong. There is nothing intrinsically wrong with letting another person know you are attracted to him. The problem comes when you lead him on for the sake of amusement or boost your self-esteem, usually while causing him to have impure thoughts or desires.
        If you are attracted to another, be pure and honest in your dealings with him, and the Lord will bless your friendship. There is nothing wrong with being playful with the person and going out of your way to meet him. Just make sure integrity motivates your tactics. If you are an affectionate girl, be careful about how you express this. A guy might perceive your affection as a hint that you want him to do more with you. This is because affection usually does not come naturally for guys. It is out of the ordinary, and so the guy may associate it with something sexual. 
        The best approach is to make your intentions for purity clear, and make sure that your words, your actions, and your outfits convey the same message. Also consider this: Lots of guys will date a flirt, but who wants to marry one? If a girl is flirty toward me, what reason do I have to think that she is not flirting with other guys? A girl is much more attractive if she does not flutter around trying to get attention. 

As Mother Teresa often said, "Stay close to Jesus. He loves you." By the side of Christ a woman finds her independence. When she stands beside Christ, and He reveals her worth to her, she no longer depends on the approval of random guys to build her self-worth. 

Taken from the book If You Really Loved Me by Jason Evert 

Living with Dignity

A woman of dignity has five distinguishing traits about her life:

1. A woman of dignity doesn't compromise. This woman has- and keeps- high standards. She doesn't let just anyone have access to her heart. Have you ever made a wish list? You know the kind I mean, listing all the traits you want your man to have. I had a list. It went something like this: Tall....dark....handsome. That list led me to a lot of heartache and many kicked-in-the-gut experiences. My list wasn't full of high standards. When I changed my list to begin with "A man who will love Jesus and live for Him," that's when things began to change. If our standards are merely suggestions, we'll be tempted to ditch them when something seemingly better comes along. Creating and sticking to biblical standards (in all areas of our lives) will keep us focused on Christ.

2. A woman of dignity has self-respect. A girl who respects herself guards how she acts, talks and dresses. This girl treats herself and those around her in a respectful way. I didn't always dress and act appropriately- I didn't respect myself- and because of that I wasn't always respected. Respecting yourself begins and ends with you. No one can do it for you. It's a change in the way you see yourself, which comes from knowing how valuable you are to God.

3. A woman of dignity shows love to those around her. When we're clothed with dignity, we're clothed with Christ. We offer mercy and love instead of judgement and hatred. It's a struggle to show love for others; it's a choice we must make. If Christ is in us, so is His love. If we're covered in Him, we'll begin looking and acting like Him, too.

4. A woman of dignity is confident in her identity in Christ. We can be secure in knowing we were created just the way God wanted us-full of the gifts and talents He wanted us to have. We're free from the bondage that comes from comparing ourselves to others! It takes so much more effort to try to be someone else than it does to simply be ourselves. Just be you!

5. A woman of dignity knows that a life of dignity may cost her something. It may cost us friends and boyfriends; it may cost us fitting in and following the crowd. It will definitely make us feel lonely at times and possibly even frustrated, but you know that it's worth it. Your life will be defined by Christ and not who you date or the mistakes you make. Count the cost. When God is searching for someone to answer His call, you'll be found ready and willing to take up the challenge!

This is Your Calling

This life isn't for the faint of heart, but it is for the type of person who allows Jesus to be her strength in weakness and depends solely on Him. It's for you, and it's for me. When you choose to walk in strength and dignity, you can look ahead and laugh without fear of the future.

Taken from Carrie Erikson's article from Sisterhood magazine Sept/Oct 2013 issue

The Evolution of the Swimsuit

This is an amazing video!  Something we all should be aware of.    

The Bikini Question?!

Summer is rolling around, and our time at the beach or pool just skyrocketed! I think we can all agree that the majority of girls wear bikinis at any place involving water. However, I don’t. Most of my friends think I shy away from bikinis for the wrong reasons. They either think I am insecure, am forced away from bikinis like the plague, or have some weird hatred for skimpy swimwear. All of those reasons are wrong.

First off, I’m not insecure about my body. Secondly, no one is forcing me to do anything, I am independent in my swimwear choices. Lastly, I don’t hate 2-piece swimsuits. I think some of them are really cute. I really like the vintage bikinis in style now, so retro! And I’ll share a dirty secret, I really like the nautical inspired, strapless bikinis. If there is one style I love, it’s nautical.

But wait, you say, I thought you don’t wear bikinis? You’re absolutely right, I don’t. Then why am I telling you all of this? Because I want girls to know that dressing modestly is a SACRIFICE.  It’s not always fun or easy. Sometimes you’d rather wear something else. I would like to wear a bikini at the beach, I think they’re cute. I also find all the extra fabric of tankinis annoying when trying to swim. And lastly, more material on swimwear = more $$$.

So why don’t you just wear a bikini, you ask? Why? Because I am making a sacrifice for the guys around me. I’ve heard the excuse, Guys just have an imagination, it’s not a girl’s problem. Frankly, I think that’s stupid. Part of it is our problem. The way we dress impacts those around us, especially guys. I don’t really want a guy to look at me and notice me for my butt, upper thighs, or chest. I’d rather him notice my smile or God-loving personality. Well sure, you say, that’s all fine and good, but guys should be able to control their imagination and look beyond our bodies. That’s true, they should control it. But it’s important for girls to help them as they try and do so.

Let’s try and put ourselves in a guy’s shoes. I think we can all agree that as girls, exercise is important to us. We want to stay healthy and are often working on getting fit. We work out and stay away from carbs or sweets. We use all of our willpower to not eat the chocolate cake on the counter! Now, let’s pretend that someone picked up that chocolate cake and followed us around all the time, 24/7. We can never get away from the chocolate, it’s always right there, tempting us and even smelling all ooey gooey and chocolate-y. Most of us, myself included, would find it easy to break down and eat the cake. And we would probably continue to break down and eat cake, because it would always be there. Our exercise goals would be long gone in no time.

This is how I imagine it is for guys. Girls are walking around all the time with barely any clothes on at the beach or pool! Guys can never get a break from it, even if they’re trying to see past all the bodies to find the smiles and personalities within the girls.

So really, how hard is it to not wear a bikini? If you’re like me, it might be a little disappointing.  You also might have to save a little more babysitting money to buy a cute (yes, cute ones do exist) tankini or one piece. But honestly, a little disappointment and a little extra cash aren’t that hard to swallow. Especially when such things are to fulfill a God given responsibility.   Let’s make a commitment this summer to ditch the skimpy swimsuits, earn self respect, and help our brothers in Christ.

Taken from Rachel Clark's post on Made in His Image 

 Places to find modest but cute swimwear:

Lime Ricki

Down East Basics

Lands' End

How is Music Influencing You?

Music is an expression; it can influence the way you treat other people and it can effect how you are going to act throughout your day. It's critical not to let music take over your thinking. "Garbage in, garbage out!" We want people to see God's love when they look at us.

It is also important to acknowledge that music is powerful. Everything you hear in your music- positive and negative- will impact you. This is why being cautious about the particular songs you choose to listen to is important. As long as its message uplifts you, develops your character, and brings you closer to Christ.

Taken from Who's in Your Social Network by Pam Stenzel

Movies, Sex and Purity

According to Dartmouth College of New Hampshire study, for every hour of exposure to sexual content in movies, teens were more than five times likely to lose their virginity within six years. In other words, our country's high unwanted pregnancy rate could be prevented if we, as a culture, were more discerning about media. The real issue is that viewing sexual content is linked to something as important as purity. But what does all this mean to you? I hope at least these four things:

1. Purity is more than saying no to sex before marriage. It's a body, soul, mind thing. Purity is an incredibly important way to live, think and act. Admittedly a lifestyle of purity isn't easy. But why make it harder than it already is by consuming movies that war against your best interest?

2. Know what's in a movie before you go, rent or buy. Faith-based websites such as pluggedin.com spell out all the content in a film-positive or negative. Forearmed is forewarned.

3. Date only Christian guys who also safeguard their own hearts from sleazy entertainment. A guy may look and act like a Christian, but if his mind is filled with pornographic images, he's not the guy you want to be with. 

4. Don't overestimate your ability to consume objectionable content and stay pure. Perhaps you're reading this and thinking, Wow this is powerful stuff, but I'm exempt. Movies just don't affect me this way. Let's take a look at Proverbs 4:23: "Above all else, guard your heart." 
  Sadly many teens live by the motto: "Go ahead and push everything you do to the edge-you're a strong person; you'll probably be an exception to any rule, study or human tendency."

Take the issue of media consumption seriously. Too many of your peers are making their entertainment decisions based on factors like special effects, actors and box office results. Take the higher road and choose your media based on your love for Christ. 

Taken from the Article Movies, Sex and Purity by Bob Waliszewski

Finding Mr. Right

A woman by her nature is a mystery. And when she conducts herself in accordance with the way in which God created her, she reflects this beauty and appeal in a unique way. When a woman is authentic, she calls a man to a higher standard by her very nature. Men are naturally attracted to her authentic beauty and integrity. 

Don't ever conform to immorality to attract a man. You are worth more than that. In fact, your worth is beyond human comprehension. God created the universe, surely he didn't forget about your future. Every woman yearns for a man who is going to protect and cherish her. My question for you is: are you conducting yourself in such a way to attract a virtuous man? Embrace the beauty of your femininity and you will inspire a man to step up. 

So, instead of finding him, let him find you. Men have an inherent desire to pursue a woman, let them do that. 

Taken from Made in His Image blog

"When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her.  The higher her virtue, the more noble her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms in the level of its women. "   -Archbishop Fulton Sheen

Girls Wait!

Girls, wait for a man who will kiss your forehead on a date, instead of wanting to make out with you, who will hold your hand, instead of touching you inappropriately. Men like that do exist! And what you need to do is embrace the beauty of being an authentic woman, and you will attract just such a man. 

Remember, "when a boy calls you cute, he likes your face. When he calls you hot, he likes your body. When he calls you beautiful, he likes your heart."

Girls, wait for a man who calls you beautiful, for this is what you deserve, because that's what you are. Let's be authentic women! Let's embrace the beauty of our femininity. 

Taken from Made in His Image blog

What Does Internal Modesty Look Like?

Internal modesty is seen in the girl who doesn't hang all over guys, but acknowledges them nonchalantly as she might another girl. It's seen in the girl whose morning dress routine helps her reflect God's beauty but does not find her obsessing in front of the mirror. It's seen in the girl who requires the guy to do the pursuing, in the girl whose conversation revolves more around other people than herself, in the girl whose obviously more in love with Jesus than the idea of a boyfriend.

Taken from Secret Keeper: The Power of Modesty by Dannah Gresh

I Had No Idea...

Yesterday I spent the day at a Purity Rally and found out some interesting things.  I had no idea the story behind Justin Bieber's family. Maybe you don't know it either. The video below will give you a different perspective on him.

Who Do You Really "Worship"?

Is "worshipping" celebrities really wrong? Does it really matter if you have a "teen idol" or "crush"? Will it really affect our lives? Well, what would it look like if we had a "crush" on Jesus? What if we spent as much time seeking to KNOW everything about Jesus as we spend learning countless details about Beyonce or Katy Perry? What if we actually CARED as much about what Jesus has to say about our choices in clothes, music, friends and hobbies as we value the opinions of Rihanna or Usher? What if we seriously asked ourselves "What Would Jesus Do" instead of "What would Justin Bieber, or Taylor Swift, Do?" I challenge you to try. It might actually change your life!

Taken from Who's in Your Social Network by Pam Stenzel

No Pain, No Gain

You can have the sunset love story in your life, but it will mean that you choose the pain that comes in package number two--the pure, slow burn. The pain here is caused by your own self control, which really feels much like self-denial. As you guard your heart and your body, you can expect to experience some pain. It is easier, short-term, to be the girl who throws caution to the wind and lets her heart and body become tangled into the moment. But if your great love story is fueled by the pain that is caused by the wise, head-defined choices in the beginning, it may come with a blissful, happily-ever-after ending. If the relationship does end? You will have no regrets because you have not given your heart or your body away. ( And there are still lots of clean pages upon which to keep writing your story. One broken relationship is not the end!)

Taken from And the Bride Wore White by Dannah Gresh

Life is Not a Disney Fairy Tale

"It is painful to admit this, but Disney completely warped my perception of relationships. From the time I was young, I wanted to be Snow White or Cinderella. Well mostly Snow White. She seemed to be the only princess who wasn't blonde! I dreamed of being the "fairest of them all" and making the wicked queen jealous. I imagined being worshipped by dwarfs named Happy and Sleepy and Dopey and Doc. What's more, even though my singing voice was painful to my own ears, I sincerely believed that if I were the fairest of them all, animals would come and sit by the window to eat out of my hands while I serenaded them.

   Girls, wouldn't it be amazing if the only thing you had to do to catch the handsome prince was to eat an apple that would make you sleep (perhaps one laced with Advil PM) and wait for him to ride up, fall in love with you (primarily because he couldn't hear your singing) and kiss you on the lips? Then, the two of you would ride off into the sunset.

  Guys, wouldn't life feel simple if your parents could just host a dance and EVERY girl in the area would put on her best gowns to dance with you? Without even speaking words to one another, you would just know she is "the one," and not only would your life feel complete, but you would also be her HERO, rescuing her from her everyday existence. Talk about feeling wanted and "macho"!

   However, Disney never finished the story. We never saw the relationship. All we ever got was the (alleged) "happily ever after." I was ripped off!

    While you would think that we would grow out of our little childhood fantasies, join the real world, and mature in our ability to deal with relationships with the opposite sex, the truth is, most of us are still waiting for the glass slipper to fall off at the dance when the clock strikes midnight. As young women, we think that if we look pretty enough and have enough magic mice to create the perfect prom dress, we too will meet our princes and live happily ever after. Young men want the ego boost of fulfilling some girl's dreams. We need a wake-up call!

  Here is the bottom line: Girls, if you want a man of God, you have to be a women of God. Boys, if you want a God-honoring wife, you must honor God with your life right now. If you want respect, you have to be someone who is respectful. If you want honesty, you have to be honest. If you want kindness, you have to be kind. To have a successful relationship and future, the key is spending time NOW developing your own character.

  Perhaps you find yourself saying, "Why do I always attract losers?" If that is the case, maybe it's time for some real INNER SOUL SEARCHING. Rather than looking out, maybe it is time to look IN! What are you watching? How are you acting towards others? What do you believe? Is that a lot of work? Yes it is. Maybe you wish you could just go back to the magic mirror, glass slippers or horse to ride in on and save the day. But, I promise, if you will do the WORK of growing up and maturing past the beautiful gown and hero complex, your REAL, God-given spouse will be so much better than the fake, plastic one that cannot see YOU behind the mask! You are a child of the King--loved beyond measure--so let's raise our standards high and spend a little more time on the INSIDE and less on the outside!"

Taken from Who's in Your Social Network by Pam Stenzel